That Time of the Month
by AggresiveFangirling
Summary: One might be in awe of James and Sirius for taking up a task no man would ever dare to do, but easily enough, one would realize the two wizards are utterly oblivious as they go off in search of tampons on the streets of London, a request by none other than innocent, sweet Lily Evans. Can they realize in time that there are some things even Marauders cannot do?


Lily gingerly turned the page of _Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them_, completely enraptured by the splendor of thunderbirds that lay inside. So bewitched was she that she did not notice the floorboards in the hallway creaking as footsteps neared her room. Even the occasional hiss from one boy to the other went unnoticed, and only when her door was swung open and hit her wall with a loud _bang_, did Lily finally comprehend the presence of not one, but three boys, curiously looking down at her.

The shock of seeing them sent her book flying out of her hands and unceremoniously onto the floor.

"Hello, Lily, dear!" Sirius exclaimed, immediately jumping into Lily's chair, knocking over several things in the process. Lily suppressed the urge to sigh, focusing only on Remus, glaring at her poor friend in a way that might scare Alastor Moody.

"Have you prats forgotten how to _knock_?" She demanded, finally regaining her ability to speak. "And I don't remember telling you that you could bring _them _along,"

Remus smiled sheepishly. "I didn't."

Lily pinched the bridge of her nose. "Of course, you didn't.."

James bent down to pick up the fallen book and quirked an eyebrow at Lily. "Didn't take you for someone who took interest in graphorns and glow bugs." He grinned.

Lily huffed and snatched her book back. "Go away, Potter.."

"Yeah, Evans, it's nice to see you, too," James smirked, lazily dropping himself next to her on the bed. Lily groaned.

"Do you still want to go to the pool?" Remus asked, quickly changing the subject for fear of an argument breaking between the two.

Lily's face brightened. Then fell. "Oh, um.. I can't anymore.."

"Why?"

"Oh, well - uh - you see.. I'm sick. See?" She tried faking a cough.

James rolled his eyes. "Yeah, Moony. Don't you see? She's sick," He drawled. Lily glowered down at him.

Sirius grinned. "A cough wouldn't stop you from swimming, dear."

Remus scrunched his eyebrows. "You look perfectly fine to me.."

"I'm _sick_." Lily insisted. "Did I tell you about the red socks I got earlier? They always send me monthly shipments for some reason."

Remus frowned. "Huh?"

"Monthly shipments," Lily repeated, narrowing her eyes at him. Remus, being the intelligent person that he was, was obviously not getting the hint.

"Oh. Um, no."

Lily decided to try another angle of attack. "Japan attacked a few days ago,"

Sirius shot up. "Isn't their flag the white one that looks like it's blotched with blood? Weird wizards, those ones."

Lily nodded enthusiastically. A little _too _enthusiastically. "It does look like that, doesn't it, _Remus_?"

Remus looked confused. Then his eyes widened. And widened until the others were certain they would pop right out of their sockets. "Oh, oh - OH." All the color drained out of his already pale skin. "I see."

Lily sighed with relief. _Finally, _she thought.

She wasn't going to get off that easily, however. "Lily, dear," Amusement practically dripped off of James' tongue. "If they _had_ attacked, don't you think the news of it would have spread like wildfire already? Perhaps you really are sick."

"I'M ON MY MONTHLY, GODDAMNIT!"

A moment of silence followed Lily's sudden outburst, in which James was first shocked, confused, then looked at Lily with something like understanding affection.

"Don't worry, love. I can help you just like I help Remus!"

Remus was suddenly seized with a coughing fit.

"Excuse me?" Lily looked alarmed.

"It wouldn't be a bit of trouble," Sirius added with a shrug.

James nodded. "We help Moony with his monthly all the time."

Horrified, Lily finally understood that both Marauders were, indeed, in earnest. She stared at him, then Remus, then back again at James.

"Right... Of course.." She nodded hastily. "Thank you. Really."

"So, what can I do?"


End file.
